So it's a little bit mental. And physical. OMG.
As best I can tell, I was supposed to run today's 10 mile long run 60-75 seconds above my 10K pace. That means I was supposed to run today at about 8 min/miles or 8:15 miles. Huh? I've only once eecked out a sub 8 min/mile 10 mile race. And my legs are way trashed from the week of training! Secondly, for the first time ever I felt like i needed one of those Garmin thingies. I DON'T WANT ONE but I feel like it would be really helpful. Since I don't have one I took a little detour to Charlestown HS during my run to do a few laps on the track and check out my pace. I did three laps at 2 min/lap exactly. It wasn't effortless. But I did it. And then things decompensated.
I was so hungry when I woke up that I ate a full breakfast so I had to wait a couple of hours to run so it was hot by the time I headed out at 10 AM. My route got screwed up b/c of some 4th of July festivity detours but no big. My legs were just so heavy and there is no way I maintained an 8 min/mile pace. No way. I would get to stoplights and be like SWEET! REST TIME! I was hoping the drawbridge was up so I would have to wait (it wasn't). Physically I am pretty beat up. I promised myself if I sucked it up I could enjoy a lovely taper next week for my tri. I wasn't planning on tapering much, if at all, but I will clearly be useless at the race if I don't rest beforehand. So while I was mentally encouraging my body to please try and run faster, I was also mentally shocked. WOW, I don't think I can BQ. If I can't maintain a sub-BQ pace for 10 miles-tired legs or not-that does not bode well. And honestly, could I even finish a marathon? I haven't felt this exhausted running since...well...the last time I was marathon training :) The feeling is exactly the same! So I calmed those demons down by reminding myself that I am on week 1/16 of training and that I can complete a marathon (still, I'm surprised at how unconfident I am even though I've done it before). But the non-BQness quality of my run is kind of bumming. And let's not even talk abourt running form. It was all about getting back home :)
In WONDERFUL NEWS....I can eat solid food this 4th of July! I don't need to track down last year's post to know what it says. I was depressed I was in Boston. I was supposed to be in NC with my family but I couldn't travel there b/c of my broken jaw. I was a mess and I felt awful and I dragged my trainer out of storage to bike. It was my first workout since the accident on June 11, 2008. It's hard to believe how much has changed in a year. Interestingly, I had no idea how screwed up my teeth were. That was a surprise I would find out once I started eating again. Thank goodness for modern medicine and dentistry. I LOVE healthcare.
Happy 4th of July everyone. There is no other country in the world I would rather call home. It's special celebrating in Boston where there is so much history. And in a teary moment, I thought of my grandpa today. He was a math guy and he always used the word googolplex. I thought he was teasing me. I wanted to use the word to say I am doing a googolplex times better this year than last. I had to google it to spell it. Honestly, I thought he made it up and I was googling it to confirm that. Apparently it's a real number! :) I miss him. But it's all good.
AND, an ice bath. I finally got the tub cold enough. I used a lot of ice (the people at the store probably thought I was having a phat party!). I considered studying for the bar but I didn't think I could take ice bath bar studying. That's a level of crazy I don't want to achieve.